sillhouette seduction


Another day another dollar — or in my case 2$ bill tips to be made, RIGHT? Well not today!!!!! This day I would learn the complexity of this business on a whole other level. Things I would have never imagined could be real — on this day became a harsh reality — I truly wished I’d never borne witness to, worse yet been a part of.

So now its been almost 3 weeks working at this “GENTLEMEN’S  Club” and although I have the layout, rotation, “back story” and A LOT of the backstabbing and treachery figured out — I still don’t quite feel like things are “NORMAL” — whatever the hell normal is   in my life these days… I wake up depressed, tired, and honestly sick to my stomach. I am anxiety ridden and mostly just sick of this bullshit excuse for job…. This day was no exception

Desiré a.k.a stage-name – “DESIRE” — astonishing brainiac thought process huh?  “Way to shy away from your true identity, I mean ” HEY taking away that little mark over the e,  who’s job is showing us how to enunciate DEZ- aH-RAY — I mean C’mon  — that’s just EPIC-LY frickin genius….  After-all you wouldn’t want us to assume that there used to be a WRONG diacritical mark above your……shhhhh “real name, now would you?”!!!!!”

Moving on… “DESIRE” was the ( new kid on the satellite stage ) on this day, though you’d never know it. But more about that after. Anyway upon being ahem “asked” by one of my bosses to show her the ropes — my  heart sank,. I surely had NO “DESIRE”, to have any part of some innocent girls Pasty Clad Demise. Besides I need money to raise my children, never mind the daughter of my boss. That’s right his daughter((DISGUSTING)) — even more disturbing — SHE WAS THERE BY CHOICE?

In order for me to paint you a mental picture of this modern-day Daisy May meets Angelina Jolie (Tomb Raider version) I really have to dig deep, ya know? Hmm what are the right descriptive words for the “Princess of Pasties”?   Let’s go with – she was a beautiful yet innocent soul with amber speckled eyes….Ah Shenanigans, Tomfoolery, and a bunch of Hog-washed hoopla– (<–nutshell, that is a load of GRADE A BULLSHIT.  Now how do I  convey the TRUE wonders of this girl — and the world that is her mind — in a semi brief summation? HELL I’ll give it a shot…Here we go!

Okay so “DESIRE” was a 24-year-old beautiful brainless bitch — yup that’s about it. Spoiled, with a very strong taste for the “finer things in life”, in other words —  she was likely fed  her Gerber from a platinum spoon . She had a vexing, stuck up, the world owes her type of attitude.  And now this doe eyed Barbie drone was suddenly “My responsibility?” I was harshly given the instructions as follows

  • Watch her like a hawk! Don’t want to have to use her tips to bail her out… <– He couldn’t be serious. Right?
  • Don’t let her wander off to explore! <– Meaning “if you are in a situation where you are about to make money, and Bambi heads to a VIP room without supervision — stop, lose money, and chase her down. God help me for thinking ” I wish she were Bambi’s mom instead.” With all the camouflage in the building (thank you turkeyhunting season) someone was sure to have great aim, slip him a $20 a lap dance, and few  free beers = NIGHTMARE OVER” I KNOW I KNOW shame on me whatever, judgement comes with the territory of being a Sin-Dustry employee….
  • Keep her away from.. Insert names of insidious, surreptitious, deceitful, doe eyed devouring she-devils here __________       ___________ & _______________!
  • Push her toward the wealthy ones, with a tendency for easy enchantment, and of course the gravitational pull toward the “newbies”
  • Above all else  — help her make money!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           “UMMM wow okay boss-man” “To wrap my head around this I am now babysitter/mamma-pimp/going home virtually broke?” I thought to myself. GET BENT!!!!!!! Of course I never uttered those words, but I definitely was NOT here for an X-rated childcare gig — I need cash, and “Bambi”, apparently needed a “coke-fix”… “Awesome, I am in plaid parading pervert, neon netted nit wit, make-up muddled money hungry, horny-fool HELL !” But off to the bathroom we went to “tend to her nasal needs” —  I sat and watched this barely breasted, baby Barbie, go through the motions of drug prep, set, and go like a pro…. A quick little Long Island Ice Tea zanax-ecstasy- stimulate of choice -like concoction — and she WAS READY…..

DESIRE was on fire, she took to the stage like she had done it a million times before. flips, and slow-rolls, floor-work and tricks, even I at three weeks in, couldn’t pull this crap off with half the sultry yet graceful sex appeal she exuded. What an ego buster….Once her stage sets were finished, she sprang to the floor, bounce, and all — like Tigger on a binger. Carefully scoping the room, disregarding my advice, and direction completely. Fixating on the wealthiest man available  with her sights set —  off she flew. “F*** my life right now, this can’t be real –wake up, oh please wake up!” I pleaded with my very awake, very coherent, very perplexed brain.

The last straw was when she turned to me and said — and I quote “Listen you used up, pitiful excuse for a mother, woman, and dancer. My daddy owns this club, and three more. I know more about this business than you ever will. I don’t need your guidance Mother Theresa — what I need…. Is for you to F*** OFF!!!! The money I make today, will finance my new set of perfect D-cups!!!!

Is she for real? So far she had broken”virtually” every rule possible in under 4 hours I had completely had ENOUGH!!!! Into the boss-man’s office I marched, and with shaking knees, a legion of angry butterflies reenacting “Mortal Kombat” in my belly — and a well thought out stiff drink, and double shot of good ole’ Jack Daniels to help me pipe up — I told him that “he could take this job and stick it up his lazy, extra large, worn leather office chair, button imprinted, recliner shaped ass, and that I  hoped once in hell — he would be showered with gasoline every time the pain eased up even just a bit!”

Then I burst into tears like a toddler, and blamed my monthly visitor Aunt Flow, and returned to work.  ” Gosh why the hell can’t I walk away?” echoed endlessly in my mind….. Apparently my other voice, the one of reality and reason whispered “because it’s all you have, and your kids need to eat you selfish bitch — now get back to making money..” And yes I truly felt guilty about “almost quitting”, like working in that environment was a privilege or something — I know sick and twisted right? Well sadly that was just the beginning of voyage into warped thinking 101, with the Sin-dustry as my teacher…….

Survival of the fittest I guess, maybe some are just made to be soulless, non-conscientious, merciless, wretched, ravenous, spirit-crushing, sub-human’s by nature… But I prefer to believe there IS a better, and purer version that speaks the universal language of compassion, empathy, and love. For that is far better than the alternative……

HOPE IS ALL I HAVE — FAITH is my strength, even in my weakness, PERSERVERENCE is my mind-set — FREEDOM and STABILITY are my goal….

Till then heavy-hearted, shadowy grey slated dreams await me on the lumpy side of my pillow.

Told by:Heather Cornell

sexy oin up


  1. My guess is stripping depends heavily on the club and you personally. I did it for college money and made a shit load more than I needed for college. It set me up pretty well. But i had no hungry kids at home and i did it because my body is a tool given to me by god like my brain. I got my degree and bolted. But stripping paid for my beach house in Hollywood Florida, a couple cars, college for me and my Girlfriend and managed to save a little as well for a rainy day. My boss made us work other clubs from time to time which sucked getting used to the players/stage layouts/ect.. But all in all my 4 ½ years stripping wasn’t all that bad. My guess maybe because I knew I’d have my degree soon and be out of it.

    For me it was just a means from point A to point B and not something I had to do and I didn’t have to have sex with any customers like some of the girls. I know some really needed the job but honestly after six months my college was fully paid including dorm, food and books. By the end of year one my girlfriends college was also paid in full. I could have quit at any time from there on. I did it till I got my first job in Information Technology and walked away pretty happy with the trade off.

    Of course like I said I was raised to believe your brain, your body, your looks were tools to help us from point A to point B. No different than becoming a soldier and using your body for a G.I. bill I used mine. Best wishes to you and lots of love.


    1. Excellent addition to this post. Though this was more aimed at the not so positive side of that lifestyle – there are obviously flat out benefits. It has yet to touch on those very realities that make this industry shi tempting to try. Even harder to say goodbyes to. We don’t know how your comment got lost in the process. But thank you, for your well worded and great insight into a second side of a common and profitable business.

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